The journey to the start

 Is this a mid life crisis?  Or a logical response to the situation I find myself in?  I thought I was in a secure job, teaching in a small, independent school.  I was happy.  I loved the school, the students, my colleagues.  I thoroughly enjoyed running the school’s CCF and DofE programme.  I was happy, settled and, in my mid 50s, assumed that this was my last job prior to retirement.  How wrong could I be?

We found out on 20th May that the school was closing at the end of this academic year.  I have only taught there foe six years, but my children have been part of the school for over 20 years.  Many of the staff had been pupils at the school prior to long teaching careers.  We were a small but very close knit community.  We were also a hugely talented and hardworking group of people - it was amazing to see the stream of relieved and happy faces as my colleagues secured new jobs … but I wasn’t sure I wanted a new job… or at least I didn’t want a new job right now.

I’d had a busy year.  Running the CCF contingent, being DofE manager and teaching meant that weekends that didn’t involve some form of school related work were vanishingly rare.  I love all aspects of work (apart from data, spreadsheets and washing up the coffee mugs in the science work room) but there was no doubt that I was running on fumes.  Did I really want to follow up a busy summer holiday (I had tow cadet trip already in the calendar) with the stress of a new job?  Was I even capable of playing nicely with a new set of colleagues?  I decided that I didn’t want to put myself through the hell that is applying for jobs.  I’d take some time off.  I’d go for a long walk.  I’d (maybe, if I got very bored) do some housework!

And then…

Well, everyone else got jobs?  What if I couldn’t get a job?  Surely just going and looking at a couple of schools couldn’t do any harm.  I loved both the local schools I visited.  They both seemed to like me.  I found myself accepting a job on the basis that I wouldn’t start full time until January.  I can’t say I’m thrilled at the idea of starting all over again, but I also can’t deny the fact that having the security of a job to come back to is very reassuring.  

 So - what now?  Well an adventure I’d always had at the back of my mind and something I jokingly told my colleagues I was going to do on the day we found out we were being made redundant.  I am off to walk the Camino de Santiago. 

It occurs to me that I have never really done anything on my own before!  I’ve either been with friends and family, with colleagues, leading or part of a group of students, but I have never spent a prolonged period of time where the only person I needed to worry about was me.  It feels odd,  And slightly selfish, but very much needed.  

I left home this afternoon, with an 8kg backpack (according to my younger daughter I have less luggage than I normally take on a weekend in London) to make my way to the airport for a 6am flight tomorrow morning.  I don’t know when I’ll be home.  I have a one way ticket and accommodation booked for the first two nights.

Watch this space….