Saturday, 24 July 2010


I've been half of a couple (the same one) for over 20 years now. That is a long time in anyone's book. Over that time friendships have waxed and waned, friends that started off as 'my friends' from my pre coupledom days are now 'our friends' and new friendships have been made. These friends are 'our friends.' We know both halves of a couple, both get on well with the friend etc.

What I miss are 'my friends.' The friends who were just, or mainly, my 'property.' The ones you would seek out after a nasty argument with you partner, the ones who would wholeheartedly side with you even when they did suspect that at least a small part of the blame lay with you. The friends who knew the value of a tub of Haagen Daaz and a bottle of Chablis when times were hard, but who also shared the best moments of your life too (they were the first person you 'phoned with good news as well as those sought out when a shoulder was needed).

I can't be as open with 'our friends.' They know Stephen, they are his friend too, they can see his point of view, and, this is probably the crux of the matter, I'd feel terribly disloyal if I said everything I sometimes want to say about him to any of 'our friends.'

How does one find a new 'my friend?' Answers on a postcard please!

1 comment:

  1. By going to some events on your own or having a separate hobby?

    My mum has friends from her volunteering work with the WRVS.